Thursday, 9 May 2013

Donut Cartel's #2: New Victim's identity announced.

An ex-School Councillor, and Librarian has become the newest in a string of victims by the Donut Cartels. He was killed when buying a donut off a Year 11, the presumed intended target of the killing, say sauces from the CSI Science Block. 

The ex-Councillor, who cannot be named because he'll whinge like a tw*t, was ousted from power when the Abdi Popular Front (APF) took control of the House Of Fraudsters. The ex-Councillor was a distant relative of Abdul-Smith Smyth Smithington von Smith, the Leader of the Abdul's Kindle Independence Party (AKIP), a break away from the APF. When asked for a response of his fifth-cousin-seven-times-removed's death, Smyth Smithington Von Smith was quoted as saying, "He's related to me? F**k off! Seriously? The tw*t can't speak! How he got elected, I'l never know... Ah wait, he didn't. I love Hampstead School. Now back to my Lemur. She's called Geoffrey, you know..."

Having formed and represented the Totalitarian-Wielding Anarchist Tories for so long and so poorly, our thoughts and 1 LYK = 1 PRAYRS go out to all those who knew him. We're so sorry it took so long.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.

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