Monday, 9 September 2013

Smokers' Area Set to Return.

After a U-turn by SLT, and a rousing speech by a Marlboro executive ending in "Mr Shangrilakowski, tear down these walls!", the infamous smokers' area behind the Drama block is set to be reinstated.

The area was gated off in a move to create a "nature reserve", allowing crisp packets and Coke cans to live in their natural habitat, rather than the concrete jungle of the Pyramid stairs.

But the Biology experiment failed after the aggressive marketing of bins by the School Council, causing the endangered Spotted-Plastic-Bag to go extinct. After this event, the SLT saw fit to plant a 'herb garden'. After one too many police raids, this policy was also scrapped, causing many to moan about the white elephant these gates had become. Albeit they were more green in colour. And they were fences.

So after an investment sponsored by Tobacco companies, seeing the Drama Block become the Lucky Strike Block, a new shelter for the smokers will be built. Using a revolutionary design, the fumes will be sucked up by a fan, collected, and used for a smoke machine in the Lucky Strike Block.

Because the Biology teachers said there was nothing wrong with Cigarette smoke. As they ran into Ferraris and sped away down Westbere Road.

"Oi, where did you put da ganja???" asks a Year 7.

Giant ash tray erected by the finest builders Hampstead has to offer.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.


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