Friday, 6 December 2013

School Left Torn in Geopolitical Turmoil

With the school’s ever growing transition to “Rights Respecting” status, many students are left angered by the disembodied Head’s backing out of full membership at the eleventh hour.

After recently being reunified, the Republic of Quad, while lacking a physical barrier, has many cultural barriers between Eastern and Western Cookie Cartels in its midst. Gang violence resulting from this and differed opinions have made the concern of the UN Rights Respecting Status fiasco complicated, with the Eastern population preferring the regional power, the Sam’s Empire.

The disembodied Head’s decision has come as a shock to many, and recent inquiry reveals a secret deal made between the Manager of Sam’s, offering financial aid in return for backing down from the UN Rights Respecting Posse.

Angered Western students took to the hallways to voice their concern. Seizing the Dame Tamsyn Imison Building, Mohammed Labaanah King, a proud Western Rights Respecting activist, said “It was so cajj bruv, we was runnin’ in the corridors when the SLT be like ‘you can’t do that!’ but we did”.

Standing up to uniformed teachers on their break Szemelikowskian Task Force Operatives, Western forces wreaked havoc in the school, but only at lunch, even “anarchist” rebels need an education… oh wait…

Abdi (Year 10), a kingpin in the rebellions gave a simple address from the reclaimed Girls’ Only Area, “This is not a demonstration, this is a revolution”. The disembodied Head, is yet to reciprocate with an even more sensationalist statement, but it is expected within the week.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique the actions of the governing bodies of the school. To satirise true events, some characters or events within the article may be fictitious.

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