Friday, 31 January 2014

Transfer Deadline Day: Uproar at controversial cross-Quad signing

As mentioned in E. Rex Sean's previous article, there are the two major football clubs that play on the site of our school; East Quad United of The House(TM) AstroTurfand West Quad City of Front Cage Arena. 

The pair are massive rivals, with groups of Hooligans and 'Ultras' known to have fight between the two sets. However, in a move that has angered both sets, a controversial figure has moved between the two clubs on Transfer Deadline Day.

Theo Cracy, the goalscorer injured earlier on in the season, has been sold by EQU to WQC for a Cricklewood record fee, of 3 cookies, a can of KA Pineapple, and a Sam's 2 for £2 with chips. 

This has angered both sets of fans. The EQU supporter's trust, named The IEU Firm, released a statement stating: "Theo Cracy knows what he's done. He's a treacherous b*****d who's lied to us. He'll get the full Luis Figo treatment, but Pig's Heads are haraam so we'll just throw Chicken Wings instead." 

The WQC fans, who often congregate for matches in a section of their stadium called The Bike Shed End, said "Not only has a player who has kissed the dirty EQU badge joined our ranks, but we've massively overpaid. This player isn't worth a sky of KA, let alone an entire can."

Extra SLT had to be placed on hand to protect the player on his journey on foot via the Pyramid stairs, using blaring sirens and long Tuna batons (that seemed more baguette-shaped).

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.

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