Thursday, 5 November 2015

Celebration Confusion due to Planner Running '4th, 6th, 7th' - Maths Durpartmunt Blamed

People of Hampstead today celebrated the long-held tradition of letting off fireworks behind the Drama Block, in remembrance of a night over four-hundred years old, in which a brave freedom fighter, know as being called Kinnan Fawkes, plotted to blow up the Ingrish Block in the name of anarchism.

The story goes that Fawkes and his band of conspirators (known as the Spoons) set about planting a firecracker in the Boiler Room, in an attempt to set about the combustion of the gas chambers. However, the plan was foiled when Fawkes found out the boilers weren't working (again) and so all the firecracker did was slightly singe a rat. The noise triggered him to be found by one of those guards in the high-vis jackets, and he sentenced to exile in the leper colony known as Portsmouth.

In homage to the act that has become part of Hampstead's unique and frequently fabricated history, disciples of the great Kinnan Fawkes paid tribute to him in the run-up to today, just before the half term a bin being lit alight as an allusion to his 'mad writings' about Trash, or something of the sort. It has also been revealed that the current building site was not intentional, but rather as a means to covering up a massive crater from the blast of a suspected Ingrish State bomb.

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