400 Years of 'Fruity Language'

To celebrate the 400th anniversary of the death of William Shakespeare (because that's not morbid), the school have released a special anniversary booklet detailing the Shakespeare-themed work of the students, as well as some events to come in celebration of the great Bard’s life and work…

What’s On:
Hamlet
The tale of a boy cast out into exile by a nefarious leader for doing and saying ‘mad’ things and accusing said leader of being corrupted.

King Lear
In which a deranged and rash leader descends into madness as those beneath him attempt to remove him from power.

Richard II
Historical drama. A self-obsessed leader sends one of his disciples into exile whilst he upsets his subjects by fighting a war he cannot win. (that's enough. -Ed)


Poems from the Poetry Society
Sonnet 69
Shall I Compare thee to a summer's day?
Nah.

Sonnet 420
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun
If snow be white, why then her breasts be dun.
She is clapped.


And now an excerpt from the forthcoming summer production of:
The Great Brad’s
A Midmorning Afternoon’s Dream

Act II Scene II
TITANIA sleeps
Enter BONERO and blows a sacred herb over TITANIA

BONERO
What thou seest when man wakes,
Link thy gash for pity’s sake:
Be him hood, or rat, or bear,
Or roadman with bristled hair,
When thou wakest, it is thy man:
Wake when smell vile thou can.
Exit

Act III, Scene I
Enter *UCK and MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN

MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN
“We are such stuff as memes are made of”
Alack, I do believe I hath read the wrong play
But with five hours hence to learn all to say
For thy ever forthcoming production
Methinks I am in need of canny concoction

*UCK
A stranger man than e’er played here
‘Tis an idiot ‘pon this patch I do fear
On a learning stroll, with his shirt well tucked
In the mind, spirit and soul, may he be-

MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN
[Interrupting] Who goes here? Who mocks my breeches?
Dost thou know he mocks one who teaches?

*UCK
I must away.

Exit

MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN
Marry, sprite, I will find thee quick
And will not stop till your wings I hath clipped
Exit

Enter Fl-Uté and QUINCY, practicing the play.

QUINCY
Just like practiced not five minutes past
Behind the bikeshed, whence we did our last
I will grab thee on the count of three
And bend thy over this hostess trolley.

Re-enter *UCK, and MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN with an ass's head.

QUINCY
O monstrous! O butters! We are haunted. Pray,
No pagan spell to come hither our way!

Exeunt QUINCY and Fl-Uté

*UCK
[aside] ‘Tis a spell of truth, I do cast over this creature
That when dissipated, sun shines on his true nature
Many hath known’t for long, that when all is done and said
We must all withbear an ass for a Head!

TITANIA
[Awaking, to MAN OF ANAL ORIGIN] Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.