Monday, 14 November 2016

Inflated Head Wows Skywatchers

For the first time in 400 years, the Head's inflated ego is visible in the Northern hemisphere in it's Szupercalifragilisticexpialidocious configuration, appearing 80% larger and, according to the East Cricklewood Bureau for Astrology and Occasionally Meteorology, providing up to 400% more protection to watchers who chant "meme magic" while twirling effigies of the Head just at the mean eye level of those around them.

We at the Trash have been unable to reaffirm the awesome power of meme magic, but would nonetheless like to inform readers of the considerable track record of the Bureau, with the setting of the sun in the West, the eventual destruction of all things by the irreversible forces of entropy and the systematic manipulation of school league tables by SLuTs being just a few of the profoundly accurate and mystically enlivening predictions made by the Bureau.

Former Hampstead photography student and self-styled "all round great guy" Greg Goodwin, known for his iconic photos of some idiot standing in front of a tank, the fall of the wooden curtain and the erection of the new building told Trash reporters that he "had a very good feeling about this one", and that the "grotesque" nature of the photographs would "shock audiences across Northern Siberia". When reminded that Northern Siberia was no longer a territory of Hampstead, and asked just what the hell he meant by this, he declined to comment.

Readers are encouraged to stay safe, particularly if tonight's Lunaris Megalomanis has any adverse effects, including, but not limited to cramps, drowsiness, moderate to severe discomfort, strange feelings of religious reverence and death. If in doubt do not hesitate to contact a physician.

 DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, although the Big Ball of Cheese in The Sky is supposed to be bigger, brighter and lighter tonight, with all new ultra-lo fat polymerisation techniques, for that classic lo-fat taste.

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