The School Magazine is dead; Long live the School Magazine

Having been under the impression that ETC. had been put out of its misery, like a losing racehorse with a broken leg, we've seen the school's attempt at playing Lazarus on said horse, with various spam emails sent on the fancy new system. It's a good thing that Year 7's aren't classed as animals, otherwise the SLT would be in some serious trouble with the RSPCA. As it stands, UNICEF aren't too fussed.

Below are some screenshots, for those of you who are not checking their school email whatsoever, sent by the teacher now running ETC. In typical Hampstead fashion, there's some brilliant hypocrisy.

Fancy new email system, complete with spam already...

• "I would like some more articles from different points of view." - Yeah, nice try attempting to get differing points of view under the Thought Police. (There is only one correct point of view, and it is that of the school. There is no chance they could ever be corrupt. Ed.)
• "People are coming in to school from a local university to help us out" - Uni students are allowed to, and do criticise their educators for their rules and regulations. I'm sure they'll definitely not encourage the same if asked for help with a 'defamatory' article.
• "It's your voice, get it heard!" - OH MY GOD DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING I MEAN TRASHGATE KINNAN THE LACK OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THIS UNICEF LOVING HELLHOLE.

Not only spam, but reminders of the spam you've been spammed with...

Ignoring the atrocious grammar and laying out of the email by someone who will be running a magazine, the most entertaining bit is the website. You can have a look at it here. It's hopefully a work in progress, as otherwise that is possibly the worst formatted website we've ever seen. Not only has it no content on it (reflecting the scope of the average ETC. article), but people were invited to it before it had even been finished, only inviting mockery.

So to sum all this crap up, ETC. has been reincarnated, with seemingly more lives than a cat. With all the relevance in this world of a Buzzfeed list article about the top 69 types of coat button whilst World War Three starts, ETC. is something nobody should care about, and something anyone who does is plainly an idiot. If you are actually interested in journalism, whilst ETC. might seem good practice, you'd be better setting up your own blog for writing on (it need not be a "defamatory" one with masses of "fruity language"). On the note of 'fruity language', we can reveal that the email address seen on the screenshot will be inundated with opinion pieces wanting our voices heard. I wonder if we'll get them heard...


DISCLAIMER: This article is not in any way affiliated with Buzzfeed lists, nor One Direction fanfiction with a lack of any of the "good stuff"; and Heywood Jablome will not take the blame for any unsuccessful journalism careers based on his advice. If it goes well, though, he will take the credit.