Friday 26 April 2013

Bomb Scare in Downtown East Cricklewood

On Wednesday East Cricklewood Community Comprehensive was hit with a bomb scare that set off alarm and hysteria across the school. At 11:15 a.m. the fire alarms went off, sending civilians running for shelter in the ‘front cage’ from the possible blast zone in the quad. A journalist for the Trash (we’re using the term ‘journalist’ very loosely) reported he saw a civilian running towards the front cage among the pandemonium screaming “A troll! In the dungeon!”

After the metaphorical smoke had cleared the Spider Locomotion Treaty, alongside the bomb squad, declared that the unidentified package, located underneath one of the 75 million benches, was in fact a sandwich that someone had left there, and so order was restored, along with the school day.

Dammit.



DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.