Sunday, 16 June 2013

Leaked Minutes from School Council #6

Item 1: Hampstead School Onesies to be implemented as of September.
Minutes: Abdi (year 9) argued that having a tucked shirt already built into the onesie would mean student could no longer be pulled up on the state of their uniform. Abdi (year 11) told him to 'buzz off'.
Minutes spent on Item: 142 minutes
Actions: Consult the DT sweatshop on possible manufacturing.

Item 2: Only Chicken legs and wings to be served in the School Canteen
Minutes: Abdi (Year 8) argued that the wings and legs of chickens and pigeons were the tastiest parts, and should be the only parts served to students. Abdi (Year 10) said that it would be a waste to not use the rest of the chickens, as the meat would have to be thrown away. Abdi (Year 12) then called Abdi (Year 10) a 'hippy'. Abdi (Year 11) then noticed that this was already happening in the school kitchens.
Minutes spent on Item: 436 minutes
Actions: Accept the Status Quo

Item 3: Congratulate Abdi (Year 7) on the approval of his 'gates closing at 8:35' idea
Minutes: When Item 3 was announced there was booing from the council, as well as the throwing of rubbers, pencils and particularly sharp mangoes. Abdi (Year 7) retorted: "I'll get my Hampstead Trash Olders on you". There has been a vote of no confidence for Abdi (Year 7) from the Hampstead Trash.
Minutes spent on Item: Not bloody long enough
Actions: More throwing of stationary and sharpened fruit.

Item 4: Cookie selling on school premises should be allowed.
Minutes: Abdi (Year 11) said that it would encourage entrepreneurial spirit, profiteering in young people and back up the syllabus of Business and Personal Finance qualifications. This was met by silence.
Minutes spent on Item: 32 seconds
Actions: None; because the Head said so.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.