Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Management's Banner Addiction Reaches new heights

A Photographer for the Trash today took some snaps of an advertisement on Kilburn High Road. Similar to the ones featured in various local newspapers a few weeks back, the poster contains a seemingly random man squatting down, with the facial expression that implies he is relieving himself, that is actually rather true to the nature of Hampstead Life, also a, by what we can gather, unfortunate Year 7 standing gormlessly like a lemon, which, if you have taken a walk down the Languages corridor recently, you will find also to be a scarily apt description of how a Year 7 behaves, and a title that states that "the best feeling in the world is knowing you've made the right choice in your child's future". Evidently the management have never made love, had a child, or taken their blazers off because they certainly are the 'best feelings in the world'.

In a fleeting attempt to not repeat previous articles too much, but still for the sake of our more forgetful readers, here are the main points raised:
- Why waste the money? Hampstead is already at full capacity, with more students applying than there are places. Why bother spending the money on advertising when it isn't needed?
- "We have a strong reputation locally". Certainly do after Trashgate.
- "Children only get one chance". Which is why we care so much about the school, and if the management are doing anything that could possibly impede students' lives and educations.
- We don't have as many extra-curricular as they boast about on the adverts. We will admit that this is, in part, the fault of Michael Gove and his fabulous budget cuts, but surely you cut banner and marketing funds before clubs.

We also can't quite get to grips as to why their bowel-movement-lemon-kid advert was placed in Kilburn, an area that contains many students that already go to Hampstead. Equally, Hampstead has a large proportion of students from Brent, despite being a Camden school. Surely, if you were to advertise, it would be in Camden, to attract more borough-specific students.

We hope the SLT use their right to reply to respond to this article, and any other articles if they can take a few minutes out of one of their 'learning walks', however the Odds aren't looking too good.

We're not even sure who the man is. We assume either a paid actor,
a stock photo from Google Bing Images or a happy customer
that has somehow escaped from the McDonald's ad above it.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique and satirise the actions of the management of the school.

1 comment:

  1. She's Actually In Year10... LOL