Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Day Of The Doctor (Brookman) - 50 (+2) Years of Hampstead School

Originally meant as a special assembly to celebrate 50 years of Hampstead School achieving independence from the tyrannous Haberdashers Aske's. The anniversary was in 2011. Typical to Hampstead logistics, it's arrived two years late and it astoundingly similar to something we've seen before.

At Hampstead School, teacher Ms Fishy receives a message from Doctor Brookman and returns to the TARDIS (Technicians and Abdi's Romantic Drama In Science), which is then unexpectedly airlifted by the Head's private helicopter to the Quad, so the Doctor can be shown preserved instructions from previous Head, Dame Tamsyn Imisson (Her Royal Highness, Queen of Hampstead and Empress of the DT Block), along with a secret vault of SLT art: un-hung LCD TV's preserved in stasis that take the form of 3-D pictures, including a painting of the fall of Drama Block on the last day of the SLT War (Silly Little Time War), known as both No More or Zaloom Falls. The glass of several of these screens has been broken from within and figures in the images have disappeared. It transpires that the shape-shifting Szygonkowski, preserved in stasis in the pictures, are invading. To defeat them, Sgt. Stevens of the paramilitary organisation UNICEF plans to detonate a nuclear warhead in Cricklewood from within UNICEF's TARDIS-proof Black History Archives of artefacts in Cricklewood.

In the midst of the SLT War, Mr Nomore — a hitherto-unknown incarnation of the Doctor—watches Zaloom falling to the Decapitated-Head invasion. He decides to trigger an ancient weapon of mass destruction called "Calling Glasgow University", a "future eater" which will destroy both careers completely. The Moment, however, is both sentient and possesses a conscience. Its interface manifests with the form of his former assistant Ms Williams to challenge whether opportunity killing is his only option and to show him the future personal consequences of his actions.

A fissure in space and time opens between these two points in the timeline, depositing the Doctor and Mr Nomore in the Main Block, where they meet Mr Mayne and a young Kinnan under threat from a Szygonkowski by the name of Jaques. All three Doctors are captured and imprisoned in the Music Rooms, where Doctor Brookman, inscribes in stone the code necessary to activate a vortex manipulator stored in UNICEF's Black History Archive. Found by his allies in the present day, it allows Ms Fishy to escape the Szygonkowskis by travelling into the past, where she frees the Doctors. Using the same technique of concealment by statis within SLT art, they gain entry to the Black History Archives despite its TARDIS-proof defences, and use the mind-wiping facilities of the Black History Archives to erase the memories of the humans and Szygonkowskis present, causing them to forget which of them is human and which is Jaques in human form, and forcing them to cancel the detonation and discuss peace.

Mr Nomore, now convinced of the rightness of Calling Glasgow University, is returned by Ms Williams to his time. His other two incarnations appear with the intention of detonating the device alongside him so that he doesn't have to do it alone. Ms Fishy, reminding them that he chose the name "Doctor", imploring him that he seeks a different solution. The three Doctors summon all of the Doctor's other past incarnations, as well as a previously unseen future incarnation, and working together with the desperate encouragement of the other SLT, they freeze Zaloom away in another place and time, causing the Decapitated-Heads to inadvertently obliterate themselves from the intensity of their own firepower, as their target disappears.

Mr Nomore expresses approval of the incarnations he will become as the three of them look at Zaloom Falls in the Art Department. Because the Doctors' time streams have become out of sync, he and the Mr Mayne know they will forget their adventure, and remember destroying Zaloom rather than accidently saving him. Mr Nomore is relieved that at least for a while he can finally call himself "the Doctor" again, before leaving in his TARDIS, where he begins to regenerate from old age. The Mr Mayne asks Doctor Brookman to tell him what his future holds. Brookman explains that in his future, he will die on the fields of the planet Meral's.

After his predecessors depart, Doctor Brookman meets the mysterious curator of the museum. The curator tells the Doctor that the painting's actual name is neither No More nor Zaloom Falls, but Zaloom Falls No More. The Doctor surmises that his plan to destroy Zaloom was unsuccessful and that he must now find his home planet and rescue the SLT.

DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, that uses crude humour in jest, and contains no ulterior messages. All names are fictitious, and any resemblance to real names are purely coincidental, apart from ex-SLT, who are mentioned in kindness and adulation for their previous work. There is no malicious intent in the writing of this article, apart from that of the Daleks.


  1. PAHAHA this is awesome. i havnt watched the episode of dr. who but now i dont need to.

  2. Keep up the fantastic quality of writing., a joy to read .