Friday, 15 November 2013

Year 7 Liberation Front occupy Sixth Form room

Recently, a group of ghastly underclasses students from younger years have become increasingly disillusioned with their overlords in the sky Sixth Form colleagues. In a muttered attempt, because he couldn’t reach the microphone, leader of the Year 7 Liberation Front, Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. proclaimed “ We will sit here till our demands are accepted or we get bored or something!”. He couldn’t finish the interview because he was distracted by the reflection of someone’s wristwatch, unfortunately.

The Year 7 Liberation Front has come under fire for a number of reasons. Amongst them are claims that Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. is nothing more than a shill, and is, in fact, a seven foot lizard from space, wearing a human skin suit. This claim is largely labelled as fiction, yet Mohammed Labaanah King, in a press conference, stated that he had “no recollection of creating a child” but added, however, that he didn’t “remember much of year 9”. Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. gave no comment on the topic when asked.

Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. has gone to criticise what he describes as a “modern day caste system before our very eyes!”, before remembering that that caste system is called age. King Jr. criticises a “gross misallocation of resources, from the 99% to the 1%”. For this, he received a Star of the Hour card and a good i-Behave.

Known Sixth Form supremacist, Abdi Icke, feels strongly about what he calls a “encroaching threat to our ambitions, through doors and now, in stealing our view of years sevens falling in the pond”. His overall sentiment on the issue is that “the protestors are a load of jumped up hooligans trying to cause a bit.” He added “if they want a fight, then come we go Redpitch, bruv”.

DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, written to criticise the actions of the school's management and its governing bodies

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