Recently, a group of ghastly underclasses students
from younger years have become increasingly disillusioned with their overlords
in the sky Sixth Form colleagues. In a muttered attempt, because he
couldn’t reach the microphone, leader of the Year 7 Liberation Front, Mohammed
Labaanah King Jr. proclaimed “ We will sit here till our demands are accepted
or we get bored or something!”. He couldn’t finish the interview because he was
distracted by the reflection of someone’s wristwatch, unfortunately.
The Year 7 Liberation Front has come under fire for a number
of reasons. Amongst them are claims that Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. is nothing
more than a shill, and is, in fact, a seven foot lizard from space, wearing a
human skin suit. This claim is largely labelled as fiction, yet Mohammed
Labaanah King, in a press conference, stated that he had “no recollection of
creating a child” but added, however, that he didn’t “remember much of year 9”.
Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. gave no comment on the topic when asked.
Mohammed Labaanah King Jr. has gone to criticise what he
describes as a “modern day caste system before our very eyes!”, before
remembering that that caste system is called age. King Jr. criticises a “gross misallocation
of resources, from the 99% to the 1%”. For this, he received a Star of the Hour
card and a good i-Behave.
Known Sixth Form supremacist, Abdi Icke, feels strongly
about what he calls a “encroaching threat to our ambitions, through doors and
now, in stealing our view of years sevens falling in the pond”. His overall
sentiment on the issue is that “the protestors are a load of jumped up
hooligans trying to cause a bit.” He added “if they want a fight, then come we
go Redpitch, bruv”.
DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, written to criticise the actions of the school's management and its governing bodies
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DON'T GET OVERLY GASSED.