Sixth Formers to Maraude into Flooded Plains of Oop Norf

Tomorrow, students from Year 12 shall go on a romantic Valentines Day trip to two Universities, the University of Birmingham Villa Albion and the University for the Education in Anarchy (U.E.A.),  in areas as of yet unvisited to man(dem). It has been said that after the wet weather Britain has been suffering, these areas will be swamp-like, so the trip has been advertised to the Year 12s as a trip to Shrekworld, due to the ogre-like ugliness of the local inhabitants.

It has been stated by the Geography department that the local tribe near one of the Universities, called "Brummies", speak in a strange dialect similar to that of Adrian Chiles. The tribe local to the other Uni are noted for having six fingers, and occasionally being shot by Danish zookeepers to prevent further inbreeding.

Upon the request of the SLT, who want to showcase some student work, here is a piece of Geography coursework from some Year 13s, who had to make a map of the UK. They received G STARs for this piece of work, so well done all of you. The map has been annotated to display the Universities the Year 12s are just visiting:

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.