Thursday, 25 August 2016

No Post Haste

Hampstead seems to be setting a new trend for results this year, but not a 5-year trend, but rather one for not reporting them at all. Despite it being GCSE Results Day today, the school nor any of the local papers reported the school-wide results, as they failed to do last week with Hampstead's A-level results.

Again, the school did not attract a single online article from the local press, only today having the A-level results from last week published in the Ham & High (see Trash passim), suggesting we will have an idea of how well (or how badly) the school has done sometime next Thursday.

The only indicator that the school even had results was a flimsy article left today on the school's website, praising the students' "fantastic" and "tremendous" results. Without knowing what they are, we cannot say if they truly are as superlative as the school makes out; knowing the media machine that is Hampstead School, we think perhaps not.

Just to make the article truly Hampsteadean in nature, there was a confusion between singular and plural followed by the ever-cringe-inducing line "your personal Olympics". The school did state that "results once again showed an improvement on the previous year against all indicators"; seen as the A-level results improved only marginally in some areas - and got worse in others - the school's use of 'improvement' may be exaggerated. We'd also like to know what 'indicators' the school were using to forecast bad results; the fact that its Hampstead? That the last two years have been a break from the 5-year-trend? That Jacques Szhouldistayorshouldigokowski is still headteacher?

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