Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Make Hampstead 'Good' Again

With both campaigns drawing to a close, the election to find the next Leader of the Unfree School and Councillor in Chief has begun, with Hillary Cards and DoNaldé Trump vying for votes. With polls still open in the East Block, the election is one still to play for.

Despite numerous scandals on both sides, support for the candidates seems to be tied equally, as the electorate seems to dislike both. Heading into Election Day most polls had both candidates between 44% and 48%, a surprising and perhaps worrying figure since, due to widespread apathy in the student body, voter turnout is expected to be only 12%.

On the Cards side of the campaign, the last few weeks have been fraught with the revelations that the SLT was investigating more of the emails sent from Hillary Cards' private email address when she should have been using the (largely ignored) bucket of spam that is the official school email. Only in the past few days was she cleared of any wrongdoing, the SLT stating they had nothing to do with the four hundred leaked details that Cards, along with the school as a whole, was embroiled in place, something which the Trump camp took offence with, saying: "Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!"

In response, Hillary Cards issued a robust statement, reminding Trump to "take turns to talk" during such confrontations, and that "if the SLT said it, it must be true; they have never been accused of covering something up." 

Equally vocal have been the supporters of both candidates; one Cards fan told a Trash reporter that "This is our opportunity to put a woman in the Head's (of State) Office, and as she dresses like an old man no one will really notice the change" whilst a Trump supporter remarked "Eeeyeyeyghghhghgieiiegheeyeye".

With polls still open for some time to come, the school being unable to count votes, like with anything they do, swiftly or well (whilst having to discount the 50% of votes imagined by the Maths Department), it is unlikely a result will be announced until late tomorrow night. What we do know, however, is "this is a 'good' election".

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