The main points of the investment was into
the new(er) Microsoft PowerPoint 2k9 in order to allow the head teacher to
display the presentation to all 5 year groups, excluding the sixth form.
Another system the money was channeled into was the internet connection
required for some random administrative assistant to research 3 facts about the
new Mars Rover ‘Curiosity’. The school has now got Internet Explorer 4 which
has more than doubled download speed to a mighty 3.6 Kilobytes a second. One
student, who was sent out of quadruple ICT was reported to have said “It is the
s**t”. High praise indeed.
The head teacher has claimed that the new
spending was “completely justifiable and incredibly valuable”. He has asserted
that is a popular project and it has made his downloads (*ahem) much faster. Other teachers have agreed with him, admittedly with their b****cks clamped to cattle prods, but that detail is irrelevant.
On another economic note, the school has
not increased the funding for anything that may provide better resources for
the science departments. Teachers have said that “material resources are
worthless, inspiration is far superior”. However, this may have been quoted by
a Divinity teacher shaped like a ball. The inspiration projects are being
supported by the repeated use of really unimportant “Wibbly Wednesdays”.
DISCLAIMER:
This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique the actions of the
governing bodies of the school. To satirise true events, some characters or
events within the article may be fictitious.
No comments:
Post a Comment
DON'T GET OVERLY GASSED.