Cookies became popular with the Cartels in 2008, a simpler time where Duffy and Scouting For Girls ruled the airwaves, and the first Iron Man film had just been released. Sainsbury's were hit by a wave of Year 7 to 11s buying cookies and selling them for a profit, for their own reasons, be it money for Match Attax, PS3/Xbox games or Marijuana as you progress through the years. Dominant sellers formed gangs, which became Cartels, bribing President Admiral General Szmelkjdfkjgvfdyfgikowski and his Senior Ludo Team (S.L.U.T.S.). Now they make up the core product of the vicious and, as we saw today, violent Cartels that hold the power on Baked goods.
According to reports, the fights stemmed from two opposing factions disagreeing over the ownership of a single choc-chip cookie (the type of cookie has not yet been confirmed by Reuters). The fight recorded by a fellow keen reporter, and below is the recording of what ensued.
Now that's taking the biscuit.
The way the cookie crumbles: A fight breaks out between
two members of different cartels over a single cookie.
(Disclaimer: We apologise if anyone's face was featured in the video.)
We hear arrests have been made, and CSI Science Block have cordoned off the area to investigate what kind of cookie the fight was over (getting the vital information, as always). Rumours have it Superintendent Davda and Chief Inspector Harvey will not press charges if it is over a Triple Chocolate cookie, as we all know how good they are. However, any other cookie and the perpetrators are looking at some serious IEU time.