So, Nike have revealed their new England away kit.
"But why is this relevant to The Trash?" I hear you ask. Look at the thing, modelled here by that most uncontroversial of souls; Ashley Cole.
Ashley Cole: "I've always wanted to do a PE Session in Gym 2"
It looks exactly like the Hampstead PE kit, except with the England badge and a Nike swoosh sewn on by some poor child in a Chinese sweatshop.
When asked about the situation, President Admiral General Szmelikojkfbiubfvwfwgsklbvdfsbvfvsiski said, "I am astounded and appalled by Nike and the FA for stealing our kit. We will be taking them to court, and we will hopefully get some compensation which will fund our motivational banner-making department for the next 5 years. And maybe a few pencils and that kinda
s**t too, but most of the money will go towards making banners, where the majority of our school funding goes."
DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique the actions of the governing bodies of the school. To satirise true events, some characters or events within the article may be fictitious.