Friday, 14 June 2013

Punctuality Report comes Late for Fourth Year Running

With the end of the year drawing to a close, the Admiral General Szechhggdtvffgfdrjjgddxgkowski has implemented a new rule stating the school gate will be closed at 8:35 rather than 8:40. Like most other useless legislation that they have come up within the last year, the Stupid Legislation Think-tank have succeeded in circulating widely something that will have very little effect.

The proposed changes will make the school day 5 minutes longer, a burden that many students do not need, especially since the time is being put on to registration. Here at the Trash we don't see why registration has to be so long, especially since it is proven that doing the register takes less than one minute long to do, and is done but five minutes later in period one, making the whole process nigh-on obsolete.

With the letter that proposed this change (Entitled Improving Attendance and Punctuality at Hampstead School, even though the letter itself didn't turn up on the day it was supposed to, and was then handed out late today) came the warning that the punctuality was solely down to the students, despite the fact that many students take the bus, which can sometimes arrive late, a matter out of many students' hands, and cyclists and those that drive could be stuck in unpreventable traffic. We don't exactly see how a twenty-minute detention will change the fate of the London Transport and Highway System.

Our chief psychic here at the Trash, Madame Headhurts, sanely predicts that on the first day the new law is implemented, an inconceivable amount of students will be innocently late, too many to keep back for detention, the new rule will be scrapped, and the School Management members will have more egg on their faces than Jamie Oliver at a Fetish Orgy.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique the actions of the governing bodies of the school. This is so student readers can hear both sides of the argument, and formulate their own opinions on matters pertaining to their education.