Hampstead "Interactive Consumption" Game

The rules of the Hampstead Drinking "Interactive Consumption" game:

• If the Head says "Time for learning", tuck your shirt in.
• If a teacher says "I'll just wait", chug your Hampstead School Trademark Water Bottle, © 2014.
• If you hear motivational pseudo-gospel music playing in the hall, take a bite of your Cookie Cartel Co. Cookie ^TM.
• If you spot a lack of commas in the "NO ENTRANCE EXAMS" signs, and ponder why there would even be entrance exams in the first place, seeing as the school does not have them, spend 50p on all manner of Lynx fragranced confectionery from your local dealer.
• If you hear The Apprentice theme, or the same few bars of Flight of the Valkyries playing, ask for permission to remove your blazer, because that really matters, and warrants a disruption of our "learning minutes".
• If you are patronised in assembly (by the way, that means being talked down to), throw/fish a Year 7 out of the pond.
• If the teacher's count for silence exceeds 50, take a whiff of second hand smoke from the boy's toilets.

On a final note, If Mr. Szmegmakowski pokes his head around the door, do all of the above.