Long has it been said in the reunified quad, that there was an absence of One Direction fanfiction in our school life since the first edition of ETC, and now that Tumblr is blocked, this thirst cannot be quenched. However with the announcement in various assemblies that ETC was to return before half term, we can all rest assured that we will get our Harry-on-Ronan-on-Ringo-on-Bjorn action.
In all seriousness, we saw the failure of the first edition, with issues picked up, laughed at, and chucked in the pond. Those poor Frogs and Goldfish have done nothing to deserve a second issue, the poor things. The strange name, presumably stolen from the Ham And High entertainment section, has been kept despite being a target of much derision (taking after the Head, we see).
Why struggle to keep such an unneeded thing alive? The humane thing to do would let it die in peace, like iBehave and other poorly thought out schemes before it. Out of date Sports articles, bad technology reviews and fanfiction are sadly not Rights Of A Child. Alas, freedom of speech is, but if this were a serious consideration The Trash would not have been blocked on the school servers, fruity language and all. If everybody actually wanted to read something rubbish, irrelevant for their daily lives and that creates loads of litter, they'd go for the Metro.
To sum it all up in a quote, "In the midst of life, we are in death, etcetera."
DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article has been written to critique the actions of the governing bodies of the school. To satirise true events, some characters or events within the article may be fictitious.