Tuesday, 15 July 2014

A Year of Mourning: A Year on from SLUDGE's Obituary

A year on from the now-infamous SLUDGE Obituary article, Heywood Jablome looks back at the points raised in the rant, and what the result of the aftermath was.

‘Sup w**kstains, what’s good?

It's a year since the article that eventually lead to this blog's notoriety, yet many of the issues raised by SLUDGE in his Obituary are still prevalent today. Going back through the article point by point, it is possible to see that a year since, there has still been a lack of change made by anyone over the points Kinnan raised in his article that, seemingly, many students agreed with. 

"The blame does not lie with the teachers, it lies with the management, whether that be the SLT or the Government."  This point remains true. Under Gove's regime, an emphasis on grades over understanding has been glaringly obvious, and schools (not just Hampstead, but nationwide) have been pandering to this. The changes in a few years for students to only get one shot at GCSE or A Level exams are putting 15 to 18 year olds under even more staggeringly stupid amounts of pressure than previously, something said to be hindering results. At the end of the day, umpteen exams sat for an hour over a period of a month decides the future of someone's life, who when finding themselves working, will see that the coursework Gove so despises is actually the closest to what the everyday experience is.

"So f**k you school management, f**k you."  This is where we delve into Kinnan's Fruity Language & Mad Writings A*. Granted there was probably too much choice language in the article, but it's no more choice than heard on the Quad day in day out; no more choice than used in Sachsgate, which the Head defended the use of in English lessons. Anyway, let's ignore the hypocrisy on swearing, and look at the points he makes in that paragraph:
  • "Not helping with any extracurricular activities" We have said time and time again that the number of clubs decreasing year on year, nowadays you'd struggle to find any that aren't sports clubs, which wasn't the case a few years ago.
  • "For the pointless media appearances" As referred to by SLUDGE in his guest return for #OneYearOfTrash, "A full-page advert in the paper that practically condemned its public image to faeces and things are supposedly ay-okay!"
  • "For the obsessiveness and money you put into producing photos and banners that nobody actually likes" They like to make themselves seem larger than they actually are (That's what she said). We have shown recently that all the banners, adverts and photos come at great cost to school funds.
  • "for the amount of bulls**t you spew out about the school is in the top ten percent nationally, when really it's for most improved" This statement was expounded upon by Cllr. Hugh G. Rection last November, where the numbers the school had produced were taken apart and shown that even the Head's 5 Year Trend was largely untrue, which can be found here.
  • "For the lack of enthusiasm you put into listening to students' concerns" This strikes at the heart of the Trash and the reason we started it in the first place. Kinnan said it, and we all thought it, and had been thinking it for years. Like any office of power, the school's management honestly do not care for the students' opinions, but society dictates that they have to seem to care; hence why, as we have picked up on many a time, we have an inefficient School Council, pointless suggestion boxes and a democratic system that largely does not work and is easily bypassed. This needs to change. Even though a large majority is written in jest, both our humorous and our serious articles highlight the views and problems that students have with the school. It voices opinions that otherwise go unvoiced. 
Now, we could go on and dissect SLUDGE's Obituary article point by point, such as above, as, despite its 'fruity language', it is one of the seminal and most poignant articles this blog has ever produced, but we thought those five quotes meant the most to where the Trash is now, rather than this time last year. You can, of course, go back and read that famed article by clicking here.

However, since Kinnan has left us and gone on to university, his 'mad writings' have only gone and won him Student Writer of the Year at Portsmouth:

Who knew Portsmouth liked their language 'fruity'.

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