Thursday, 4 September 2014


Outrage has struck the School Council Commons this week after a spate of hypocritical decisions by council leader Farah Wayward that are said to be politically motivated (Herself a member of the Sam's N P), one councillor, a Maximilian Oscar-Oolong, calling it "outrageous that a politician would go against their own word for their own personal gains", this publication has heard.

The first incident that sparked discontent came soon after the euro elections, where Hampstead voted to send away Preston Montgomery Saddleton to our twin school in Brussels, le Hampster, to thoroughly piss them off. It was reported that Cllr Wayward had partaken of secret meetings with school councillors of Highbury & Kynaston, making future plans of joint enterprise between the two councils after the next election in whenever the school get flagged up about their poor rights record a few years, despite no guarantee that they will win the next election. This surety in Cllr Wayward that they would win had the opposite effect, her treachery causing poll ratings to decrease, as well as opposition shouting "Ougheehh!"

Already decreasing in popularity over the dealings with Highbury & Kynaston, for which have since stopped, the next sensation in the commons came when ur mum walked in when a long-lasting patron of the council Cllr Dobby left and was given his freedom. After over thirty years service as MP for Back Cage and Back Cage North, he was given a school tie and told he could go free. In a press statement he said "I would rather have had a sock."

However, with his resignation came the opportunity for many politicians of the council to take his post in the next election. Cllr Wayward, who had previously said "I will not step down as Council Leader to become an MP" this week said "I am stepping down as Council Leader to become an MP". This again caused outrage, Oscar-Oolong saying to press "Cllr Wayward is giving politicians a bad name. We are not two-faced, lying, hypocritical, money-grabbing bastards."

Political commentator, Robert Pesto, said of the situation: "It's a sad thing, because Cllr Wayward has got herself into a sort of catch 22 situation. Because of what she has done in recent weeks, she probably won't win the seat, and if she were to stay as Council Leader, then she wouldn't end up as MP. However, she would keep her job."

Cllr Wayward continues to thoroughly annoy the commons and her constituents, and continues to look like fat Sue Perkins.

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