Friday, 10 October 2014

GUEST ARTICLE: something something something dark side

Admiral General SzomebodythatIusedtoknowkowski has recently issued a statement regarding the rise of a new cookie cartel in the DTI spaceship building which AHS recently spread to the DT block.

The Cartel ICIC (Intemperate Cartel of Incendiary Cookies) have sprung up in the midst of the defeat of the 'No Fam' campaign for the independence of the Astroturf region. In a desperate last-ditch attempt to save his campaign Sze'slostcontrolkowski and the SLuTs funded training for rebel fighters, the Peszmurgaowski. Unfortunately all this money has been channeled into ICIC, The branch manager of Sainsbury's Kilburn has refused to comment. In a recent interview the disembodied Head has said "I would like to go on record as saying the SLuTs violent response to the crisis, including sirens loud enough to shatter bones, had nothing to do with the valuable cookie deposit found underneath."
The Trash will, regrettably, not be sending any journalists undercover, as explained in an official statement released by the HT Editorial Team, "r u dumm or suttin cos de lazt got shanked in da nek bruv", clearly a reference to Militant Minnie, the extremist depicted beheading the late Dale E. Mayle.

The East Quad and West Quad gangs have both issued statements saying "Bruv man don't want no one steppin on manz turf yeah, less dey wann get shankdedes, we iz de only bad manz round here."

The situation continues to escalate.

DISCLAIMER: This article is a guest spoof of events in the media, and this publication's own fabrications based on the school. The Trash condemns the beheading of anyone, and finds the news that recently a British journalist was recently beheaded by the ISIS militants, showing nothing but an intolerance for freedom of speech and media that we hold so dear in the West. However, it does give a whole new meaning to the slang term for journalists, or 'hack's.

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