LEAKED: Real Minutes from School Council November 2014

With the coming of the new academical year ushers in a new phase of bureaucracy, and this year has not disappointed. I can't remember who the school councillors are, nor whether or not we voted them in (I certainly signed no ballot), so the cogs of democracy are obviously working in fine motion.

But onto the minutes:

According to the transcript, "Working Parties" have been established to "focus on core school areas", first impressions suggesting the rise of various lefty unionist parties that have to think hard about the areas of the school (for new readers, the school is divided into East Quad, West Quad, Front Cage, Back Cage, Back Cage North and the Democratic People's Republic of House). Some of these "Working Parties" which, by the fact they were out of class for the session, were not actually working, were listed as focusing on the "Student Voice -  what happens at Hampstead school", "Environment and Premises - new school build, toilets, facilities, playground" and "Community and Charity - fundraising events, school reputation". The first makes no sense to us as, if it is only dawning on the School Council now that they need to start thinking about a 'Student Voice', they have rather missed the point of being a school council in the first place, if you could even call it that. Equally, if they wanted to know what happens in school, and all about the student voice, like most of the school, they would come here. The second has no substance and weight as students have yet to be told about the new build, simply because the teachers are in the dark as well. However, that is another article that will be coming very soon. We at the Trash don't see how 'school reputation' has anything to do with charity; charity is about contributing to the cause, rather than being made into a marketing stunt to show how supposedly philanthropic the school are. This shows that the school, through the students, are desperately trying to claw back any strands of good reputation they have after our ongoing 'defamation'.

Another one of the 'Working Parties' is apparently dealing with the "Hampstead School Online Profile - facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube". Seen as when you type 'Hampstead School' into Google, there is always a link to Trashgate on the first page, and the first image to come up is that of our blog, they are going to have to work very hard. Equally, as a school, and as a totalitarian dictatorship, they are inherently unlikeable, and so its improbable they will get many of the yutes liking their various social medias. Don't try and be down with the kids, stick to the website that you've already shelled out a few grand for.

Then it goes into this diatribe about divvying up the various groups and the 'reps' that these entail, because, for some reason, we have become an American high-school that's too lazy to say words in full (See newspeak). One of these points seems peculiar, saying "The sixth form working party contains all four sixth form year reps and may only recruit from year 10 and 11 class reps. This is because the sixth form needs to reflect the views of  the incoming students who are currently in year 10 and year 11." No, no it doesn't. The school's Sixth Form hasn't even reflected the views of the current Sixth Form students; they can't even think about reflecting the views of the future Sixth Form students. They can't even think about thinking about reflecting the views of the future Sixth Form students. At least attempt to fix one problem before you pop open a fresh can of new ones.

Unfortunately, the transcript is rather shorter than the usual ones, and the rest is largely semantics, but if you have the will power to read the original, the link is here.