School Invests in Students to Chase Meaningless Award

According to a presentation that was sent to tutors, the school has begun an Investors in Careers Award, rather than investing in student careers out of the goodness of their hearts.

This wouldn't be the first time the school has only tried to attempt something worthwhile if there is the promise of another emblem to stick at the bottom of the planners (like being a Rights Respecting School, which they still have yet to do), and just goes to show how the Management will only partake in something meaningful and useful if there is an incentive for them.

The slideshow begins by saying that the award is given to schools based on their "careers information, advice and guidance (CEIAG)", of which frankly the acronym makes no sense; we have no idea where the 'E' came from, perhaps the Ingrish Durpartmunt. It goes on to state that the Award is "really one of the highest accolades an organisation can receive", which obviously means nothing to most of the staff or students, and is simply the school pointing out the supposed prestige it will bring to them. It then says that the Award should "raise aspirations", which, and let's be pragmatic for a second here, is not the best thing to be doing to state-school kids. Not every one of us are going to be astronauts or firemen or dinosaurs or the "Leaders of Tomorrow" that the Head would have us believe we will be, and raising aspirations merely raises hopes beyond what is feasible. The school should really lower aspirations and expectations, so that when someone does achieve something great, it is heralded.

It then goes on about the delivery of this process, and something about "careers fortnight" which sounds like another one of the School's long-awaited much-loved 'initiatives', that sounds less interesting than a lecture on the Gall Bladder. Remember children, a career is not just for Christmas, it's for life (unless you're Santa). It also talks about CE lessons, but as no-one actually knows what CE stands for, we must assume that this award will be interwoven with Church of England prayers, or lessons devoted to Clint Eastwood (he doesn't break Sex Ed lessons, he smashes them).

Then there's something about 'Careers Ambassadors'. Yeah, we don't know what they're on about either. Apparently they've been knocking around in school for a while now, so if you have any thoughts on them, comment them so we know what they actually are. The school seems intent on everyone for every possible cause being called an 'Ambassador', perhaps because 'Dog's Body' doesn't exactly carry the same ring.

If you want to see the slideshow, click the link here, because we got bored of taking the piss it was that boring. We're not saying don't be a Careers Ambassador', whatever that may be, and we're not saying that the school is wrong for investing in our career opportunities, but there is a moral point to be made that they should have been investing already because they are a school that wants its students to do well, not because there's a meaningless award in it.