First, the jokes, by the subject they were nominated from:
"Shakespeare walks into the science block and asks for pencils. The technician replies: '2B or not 2B?'"
"What does Santa call his cousins? Subordinate Clauses."
"Three verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They Drink. They Leave."
"A synonym ambles into a pub."
"What happened to the plant in the maths office? It grew square roots."
"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side."
"Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? He didn't have any BODY to take."
"If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed."
"If H20 is water what is H204? Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . ."
"How did the geography student drown? His grades were below C-level."
"What's the difference between A level geography and GCSE geography? For A level you need 6 colouring pencils instead of 3."
"What happens when you throw a piano onto a Year 7? A flat minor."
"My music teacher screamed when she stabbed herself whilst trying to unlock a door. It was a sharp key."
"What's the difference between a dead prostitute and school? School still sucks!"
"Haha, ur mum"
And then a selection of the gifts that you could have received:
|Official School Mascot Kevin the Pervy Aye-aye|
touchy-feely soft toy.
|The Hampstead School Map of Great|
|Hampstead Baubles: yes, they are leftover stock from|
|A HB pencil.|