App-solutely Mindless

The school, in their infinite wisdom, have once again launched into another hare-brained, budget-guzzling scheme, which will undoubtedly fall the way of the iBehave (remember that?) and the Star of the Week.

Keen-eyed students will have noticed shiny posters going up in classrooms around the school recently about a new online homework system by the name of Show My Homework, which is supposed to be a go-to website for students and parents to know what homework has been set. However, the school already goes to great expense every year to produce their own, analog version of this, the Planner, rendering either one of the two systems superfluous. A certain SLT member is believed to be behind this scheme: shiny, useless, expensive; sound familiar?

This is not the first time the school have tried to bring learning into the 21st century, and done so poorly; last year posters went up about the rules of Hampstead, ironically as apps on a giant smartphone, and item which is banned on school grounds, as per the school rules. The current posters for Show My Homework boast that you can access the school's timetable on a free downloadable app, which is useless if you are completing that work in school, as many do. If they are looking for a rise in the amount of homework handed in, they may have to look elsewhere.

Equally, the system isn't exactly fitting with the school's policy of inclusivity; as a comprehensive, there are students that attend from all backgrounds, and some, for whatever reason, do not have access to a smartphone or even a computer.

It's also not the first time the school has pissed money up the wall. There are many schemes and 'initiatives' the school have thrust upon us, all costing money that could otherwise go towards, oh I don't know, our education? Things such as Achievement for All (as we have documented thoroughly) as well as £55k going on Attendance, whatever that means. Being signed up to Show My Homework costs a school between £600 and £1,500 per year, depending on the size of the school. As our school is a rather large one, we can assume that annual cost is more towards the thick end.

So the school have once again wowed us by buying into something expensive, redundant, excluding and unusable in school. Well done.

DISCLAIMER: We swipe left on defamation, stupid schemes such as this, and homework. We swipe right on satire, and people likely to send nudes.