North London Comprehensive rewrites Dictionary

We gave a select group of individuals in attendance of a North London comprehensive (which, due to copyright issues, we cannot name the -marketing brand- school) a selection of words and asked them to offer up either what they thought the word meant, or their own new definition.

Pottage - "A cottage you grow pot in, ya get me"

Smokehouse - see 'Bikeshed'

Adultery - "Wha happens after puberty, mate."

Hashtag - "labelling for drug dealas"

Midwife - "The gyal ya divorce so ya can marry the third wan."

Inquest - "bar crawl"

Approximate - "a sideman"

Brick - "Present tense of 'bruck', innit."

Selfish - "a bit like a selfie"