Episode I - The Phantom Maynace
The seeds of the eventual rise of the evil Management are sewn in a seemingly routine place: a trade dispute between the East Quad Republic and the West Quad Federation over the proliferation of cookies, donuts and AK-47's (the latter for after-school 'training' club). Two students, the keepers of peace and justice, are dispatched to negotiate the dispute, but, like a lady packing more than spare change in her pants, it's a trap! They end up barely escaping with their university places, ending up on the remote and barren wasteland of Back Cage, where they meet slave boy Anarchist Skywalker. Eth-Nic Name senses the Force in Anarchist Skywalker, even though that sort of behaviour with children is frowned upon, and believes he is the "Chosen One" (but not Jesus, or Neo). Eth-Nic wants to train Anarchist Skywalker, but the Student Council knows something is different with this boy and rejects him. But he helps the East Quad Republic win a lunchtime battle against the West Quad Federation, so the Student Council lets Wag-Wan Kenobi take him as his apprentice.
Episode II - Attack of the Cronies
Episode III - Revenge of the Sixth
Episode IV - No Hope
Episode V - The Management Strikes Back
Episode VI - Return of the Hedi
Luke and Leia head to Back Cage to save Hand, but Leia is taken as a slave and made to wear something that, whilst intensely sexually objectifying, would come to change the imagination of every man in the bedroom (who also wishes to be a giant slug chained to Carrie Fisher). Using super-Hedi powers, Luke infiltrates Jabba's palace and gives Jabba one last warning and five detention points (or else). The alien creature, who resembles a former Prime Minister by the name of Brown, among others, ignores it and captures Luke. He takes him, Lando, Chewy and Hand to a Sarlacc pit intending to drop them in, but they turn the tables on him. Luke goes back to Yoda to complete his learning (because every minute is a learning minute) but Yoda calls half-term early and dies. Meanwhile, Hand and Leia try to stop the completion of a second New Block by knocking out an energy field made of blue plywood board that is protecting the construction site. They land on the forest moon of Ecologyarea in an attempt to disable it. But, like a drunken relation in Bangkok, it's a trap. Vader brings Luke to the New Block to meet the Emperor, who tempts Luke to give into his dank side with the promise of free cookies and 2 for 1 at Sam's. The Emperor commands Luke to kill Vader to take his place, but Luke won't do it - he's a Hedi, he says, "like my father", and there is no chance that every
Expect the next installment in 30 years.