Couldn't Have Plannered It

As another year comes to a close, we thought it was only right to take a look back. In a year in which the Head trumpeted the need for a 'growth mindset' - which some may call a 'malign tumour' - and found a new, oriental way to spout the same bollocks about improvement,  neither were so epitomised as much as they were in this year's planner 'improvements'. 

One such improvement was the transposition of contentless, omni-applicable motivational quotes from posters, assemblies and the back pages of the ETC. to each page of the planner. Since irony doesn't seem to escape the school, only evade those who run it, below are some of those quotes that we thought could no doubt relate to the school, the Head and their troubled past:

"Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw 

"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." - Anon. [Hence why the school tries to inspire us so much.] 

"It is not our abilities that show us who we truly are... it is our choices." - Anon. 

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." - Anon. 

"When I look at my children's report cards, I don't look at grades, I look at EFFORT. That's all that matters to me. That they are trying as hard as they can." - Tidjane Thiam [which is why the school focuses so much on, er, grades and doesn't really evaluate students on effort] 

"Mistakes are proof that you are trying." - Anon. [Next to a box reminding students about late detentions and negative behaviour points.]