Monday, 17 October 2016

Hampstead, Unplugged

Over the next week, as half-term approaches, Hampstead's entire network is to enter a state of 'withdrawal' (Ed - read here as the state of being completely unavailable), as technicians begin the lengthy process of relocating several hundred sluggish RM machines, the five or so Macs that have survived the frequently realised destructive potential of rogue Year 7s and an unknown quantity of floppy disks, believed by many to contain instructions for an illicit install of Counterstrike 1.6.

Once the network goes down, life at Hampstead will no longer feature what we at the Trash consider to be essential trappings of an East Cricklewood education; SIMS registers, annoying pop ups, dodgy YouTube videos, and Sixth Formers 'relieving' themselves in the library. Moreover, if Abdi in Year 7 is unable to get his good i-Behaves for the next two weeks, an irreversible shift in the karmic balance of the universe could occur, leaving thousands of trans-dimensional holidaymakers stranded.

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