Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Buzz Bashing - Summer 2016

I can't even be arsed to write a witty introduction to this article about how awful the Buzz was for the previous term, as we all know what I'm going to say, so I'll simply get on with the usual and self-indulgent task of ripping the school propaganda rag apart.

The Head's Message - accompanied with photos formatted so badly any ETC. 'editor' would be proud - was one understandably rose-tinted as he was allowed to freely wax lyrical about the soviet-era asbestos depot we once so ironically called the 'New' Block, since it was due to be torn down in a cloud of toxic, post-apocalyptic dust come the new term. Talking about the first time the school hall would have been used, 49 years ago, he said: "I imagine the music being played at the Summer Concert in 1967, the “Summer of Love”, to have been very different." Obviously, the Head hasn't heard about the other function of the Music practice rooms and the backstage area, as for the hall, every summer is the summer of love. As for the music being 'very different', seeing as the music played in the hall doesn't seem to alter year to year, I very much doubt it was particularly different, perhaps without the current staple of a poorly played rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Speaking about the building work, the Head remarked: "We started with, literally a hole in the ground" which is a bit of a harsh way of describing Hampstead even by our standards, "and as you will have seen, it is now looking fantastic", which is a bit of a stretch of the imagination; the new building still looks like a very patriotic German warehouse.

What was nice to see was there was a distinct lack of the usual reminder that students must be in full school uniform on the back page, instead going to a feature on what was illusively entitled "A Level Exhibition", which consisted of two (again atrociously formatted) photos on an otherwise blank page. Also quite humourous was the name of the place named as the location of a Year 9 Geography field trip - Cuckmere Haven.

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