School Council Minister Resigns Over Immigration Scandal

Last week Hampstead School was rocked as Cllr. Abdina Rudd resigned after having "inadvertently misled the [Chicken] Select Committee [...] on the issue of illegal immigration".

The scandal originally came to light when it emerged that the Sent Home Office had shredded documents that gave legal scholarship to 500 students from the West Quad who were shipped over to the East decades ago in order to rebuild infrastructure in the East after the Second Whitefield War.

West Quad immigrants arrived up to 70 years ago aboard the SS New Block as welcomed guests to their 'Motherland'. Due to the nature and necessity of their arrival, official documentation was not required and many were later given special passports. However, since 2009, many of the so-called New Block generation have been denied access back into the East Quad due to the Border Force System declaring they have no right to stay. This extends to many citizens in the East Quad who have been dismissed from their cookie selling jobs and denied access to the services like the New Humanities Section (NHS).

When questioned by the Chicken Select Committee, Cllr. Rudd was asked if her office had targets for the removal of illegal students in general, but the councillor denied this. It later emerged that the councillor had in fact sent letters to the Head, Jaques Szaintkittsandtheneviskowski, detailing plans to increase the forced removal of illegal students (which wrongly included those New Block citizens) by 10% in an extension of her predecessor's policy of creating a "hostile environment" for illegal KS3 students in the East Quad.

Such controversy and cover-up had led to Cllr. Rudd being ostracised by colleagues and the Head. Following mounting pressure from the Opposition Leader Cllr. Abdi Corbyn and Shadow Minister for Exclusions Cllr. Abdi Abbot, the East Quad government official resigned.

Pressure over the scandal now falls on the Headteacher, who started the process of the "hostile environment" policy 8 years ago as predecessor to Cllr. Rudd. In the meantime, a new Secretary has been appointed in the form of Cllr. Abdi Javid, pictured below:

Cllr. Abdi Javid pictured on his first day (probably by his mum. Aren't Y7s cute?).
Note the special blue tie to show how important he is in comparison to us peasant red tie wearers...

DISCLAIMER: Calling Cllr. Javid 'Abdi' is not a racialist thing; we call everyone Abdi, as do their mothers.