Friday 20 July 2018

Last Three Years of Current Affairs ‘One Big Joke’ say World Leaders

By W. Ishful and P. A. Ranoia

Brexit, the election of Donald Trump, possible nuclear Armageddon, the Fifa corruption scandal, the snap 2017 election, the Greek debt crisis, the Panama Papers, and everything else that has happened in the past three years have all been one big practical joke according to world leaders.

The UN today confirmed that has happened in international relations from April 2015 has been one big prank to give 7 billion people “a little bit of a scare.” In a statement, the UN said that they had wanted to reveal the ruse in April 2020, making it the world’s largest April Fool’s, but had to bring the announcement forward due to fears that Donald Trump “wouldn’t be able to keep his trap shut for any longer.”

The plan had allegedly been masterminded by ex-Secretary General and known prankster Ban Ki Moon, with help from Rupert Murdoch, Mark Zuckerberg and, of course, Goldman Sachs. According to Mr. Moon, global leaders had “gotten bored with standard politics” and wanted to “spice things up a bit.” Codenamed Project Illuminati Is Real, the project quickly garnered support from the real world leaders working behind the scenes all this time: Hilary Clinton, the real US president, Sajid Javid, the real UK Prime Minister and Vladimir Putin, still undoubtedly the President of Russia.

According to early reports, the world will go back to the way things were in 2015 on the 1st July, just in time for the Summer Holidays; iPhones will still cost less than £1,000, Prince Harry will still be a raucous bachelor, Donald Trump will return to being a failing businessman, everyone will think Kanye West is just another rapper and not a prize chump, and we will all be able to moan about our red passports.


Or, this could be part of an even more elaborate ruse.  I guess we will never know…

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