Managerial Types and Blood Sucking Parasites "Share a Common Ancestor", Scientists say

Scientists at the Department for Things and Stuff have discovered that Management are descended from the same creature that fathered all the blood-sucking parasites known to man.

The findings came after researchers, working out of a unit funded by the Institute for Pointless Studies, studying leeches and the same mosquitos that carry malaria discovered that had certain characteristic traits, such as "micro-managing other parasite's blood-sucking", "delegating all their blood sucking to other, more capable animals" and "having a sense of self-purpose beyond their evolutionary function."

The scientists, studying a sample of middle management who had nothing better to do on a Wednesday morning, have also managed to isolate 'prick' genes, which are said to be "sandwashed, very tight, with not enough pockets." It was also revealed that managerial types share 99.9% of their DNA with blood-sucking parasites, as well as 87% with white elephants and 69% with yOuR mUm.

In a statement, one of the scientists working on the project, Dr. Doublé-Barrell, said of the findings: "we could have guessed this."


DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, however there is strong evidence to suggest that middle management originate in Hell, are the spawn of demons and have been sent forth ahead of the apocalypse to familiarise us with ritualised suffering.