How Not to Leave Gracefully

We tend to not write articles about teachers, as they largely do their job to an amazing standard and go above-and-beyond to help the students, but then there are some instances that, out of sheer hilarity, cannot go unreported. As always, all names are omitted for reasons of privacy and reputation.

Last year it came to the Trash's attention that the outgoing Head of Music (They Who Shall Not Be Named), upon discovering that they were 'resigning' of their own free will, decided to undergo various damaging rage-fuelled acts. The first, and most brilliant, was trying to microwave a flute.

Yes, you read correctly (insert pukka-pied piper joke here -Ed). We couldn't believe it when we found it to be true. Not only is microwaving a flute very unprofessional, it is one of the most dangerous things a person can do; you can, if you're not a trained arsonist, blow your face off. That said, how did they fit it in a microwave? The length of a flute is greater than that of a microwave. The only way they could have done this is by taking the flute apart and putting the sections in, which takes a certain level of premeditation, and can't really be done when shaking with enough anger to consider doing it in the first place.

Secondly, they decided to trash the music office and delete some files from the school computers. Not only is trashing a school room grossly immature and unlike a good role-model, it is a waste of school funds to have to replace otherwise perfectly functioning equipment. And as for deleting files, that is just disrespectful to the members of staff that then had to take on the extra work to replace said files.