In shocking developments the school has been duped by the UN to hand over all of its rights and responsibilities to further what seems like a New World Order plan executed under the illusion of allowing the school to be awarded a Rights Respecting School Award. A contemptible ruse in which UNICEF might have been able to fully get away with, if it were not for the honour in which this publication took upon itself to do some respectable investigative journalism.
The school in its righteous progressive manner, ever seeking to improve the educational process, has been despicably deceived by the blood sucking bureaucratic UNICEF. Under the ever-administrative mandate of the UN, the school took upon itself to adhere to the child rights charter to make the academic process an even more enjoyable one. The developments the Buzz reported throughout this past year in attaining the Rights Respecting School Award have really been to indicate to other Illuminati members the stage at which the school is under control.
The new powers UNICEF have gained over our school are scheduled to be put to use, from changing all the teachers to reptile humanoid freemasons to increasing the amount of Argon in the schools air. “An increase in Argon inhalation among students will lead students to have irrational impulses to wildly defecate irresponsibly. A change we cannot allow to happen as we will literally be up to our necks in shit” said leading year eight biologist, Abdi. In one of the most dangerous changes being made, the UN is decreasing the ecstasy content in the school water system. This will inexplicably lower morale in the school, with lessons being as boring as they really are.
We cannot allow the UN to recklessly take control over our wonderful institution, or any other for that matter of fact. The UN, in its relentless efforts to implement a New World Order and establish a world federal government, is a despicable institution that we must bring down. We urge all our readers to campaign with their class UN representative to fight over this change and to support UN Resolution #2346 which calls for the school to be given its powers back. There is a school march organised next week from the pond to the back cage, make sure you're there to help us fight against this federalist imperialist control.