Item 1: School tut-tuts
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 9) said tut-tuts would allow travel to be a lot faster on school trips. However, Cllr Abdi (Year 8) said that the hair would be ‘difficult to source’.
Minutes spent on Item: 12 hours
Actions: Take one wheel off the school Minibus and hope for the best.
Item 2: Fox hunting in the front cage
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 7) said that the fox hunting could inspire a generation of furriers, Abattoir Owners and Shotgun Owners. Cllr Abdi (Year 9), however, said the Wellington Boots, Deerstalker Hats and Tweed Jackets would be difficult to find in North London.
Minutes Spent on Item: 5 hours
Actions: BB guns and School Blazers to be used.
Item 3: The use of the Head’s skin as a School Flag
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 13) pointed out he has an overabundance of skin, that could be put to better use. Cllr Abdi (Year 11) proposed it be put to better use as cleaning rags for the Site Staff.
Minutes spent on Item: 234 minutes
Actions: Fetch the Formaldehyde!
Item 4: ‘GOOGLE F**KING CHROME’
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 7) said Google Chrome was 1000 times better than Internet Explorer, and it would enhance IT in school.
Minutes spent on Item: 26 hours
Actions: The East Cricklewood Community Comprehensive Finance Executive said it would cost too much.
DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.