Saturday, 31 August 2013

Frack Off - Head Demolishes School for Shale Gas

It has emerged this week that Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea Admiral General Szemnngiudgibvibeibvkfbukowski has loaned out the land under the 'New' Block to a Shale Gas Company, for excavation; the money made on the venture going towards a new 'New' Block after the old one has been turned into a large chasm at the centre of the school site. 

Sources have overheard site staff saying that the hole may cause problems with "Sweeping the quad" and that "Mind the Gap signs would have to be made". Equally, some teachers have said that the "massive hole with drills and stuff around it could cause lateness to most lessons", the Head replying by saying that any lateness was the Student's fault, for not being able to warp the flow of Space-Time.

However, the P.E Department and Science Department have both coming out in favor of the plans, the Science Department saying that it would be a "helpful resource for KS4 students" and the P.E department remarking "Finally we get to teach some rock climbing, for Frack's sake."

With the 'New' Block set to be demolished, along with most of the Quad, we here at the Trash are wondering where the Head will land his Personal Helicopter now.

Fracking Hell - Scaffolding Holds up Haberdasher's Building as ground is

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.

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