Thursday, 18 September 2014


Just as Spain had feared, the Scottish referendum has set a precedent, with the region of Astroturf holding a referendum on the same day to see if they can become independent of the School. If this were to pass, there are rumours the could cede to the UCS fields (because the private school bastards haven't stolen enough off us Comprehensive plebs).

The referendum itself has the Yes or No question "Yo, u fink dat da Astroturf mandem shud split from da rest of the school mandem?". The two campaigns have arisen, with "Yeah, alright" ran by the equivalent of... erm... that Salmon guy, Didier Poisson (a resident of the Langwageofyce, in the Borders territory), and "No Fam" run by Professor I. Brouze. 

"Unique Logos bigger No-Go than Yaya Sanogo on a Pogo"

Head of Estate Jaques Szmurdakowski (and his sideman Dr. Darling) promised greater autonomy to the Astroturf if they voted No Fam, for example giving them their own independent School Council to make decisions on smaller issues, like picking up litter and what propaganda to put up in that area, however the power in important decisions like new bins would remain at the main Council in Ingerlish Blok. It has also been rumoured said that Szmurdakowski would allow the Astroturf to actually set a timetable for who could use the back cage on any given day.

The latest polls (as can be seen below) suggest, when Don't Knows and Don't Cares are eliminated, the campaigns are neck and neck, with 0 supporters each. With an expected turnout of 2 (that's people, not percent), this is too close to call and will be fascinating viewing. 

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