The first 'objective' of three of the Action Plan talks about how the School Council is allegedly trying to improve the 'student voice impact'. Not only is this already a hilarious notion, but made even more laughable still by the fact that the School Council, the students' so-called mouthpiece, had to make this an 'objective' in an Action Plan. Surely the fact that the School Council exists should be sufficient enough for that 'objective' to be. But, alas, that is not the case, and the School Council remains as inefficient a process of providing 'student voice impact' as Nick Clegg is at gaining votes (don't think we haven't noticed the fact that the Girls' Only Area sign is still up, even though the School Council said it would be removed 6 months ago).
The 'rationale' section of this 'objective' showed a resurgence of classic Standard Ingrish, as whoever wrote it managed to confuse the future and present tenses saying "we will feel that the school wants to make changes for everyone". Not only do we doubt the claim, but being able to predict that, in the future, they will feel about what the school wants presently, which is superhuman. As well as this, under 'resources', one of the things they could use to further the 'student voice impact' would be "a school blog".
Now, if only there was a blog that dealt with the students' views on the school and furthered 'student voice impact'... Hmm...
They say that, in terms of timescale, this blog would be up and running "by the spring term", which we have yet to see, in spite of it being the spring term, and that "that the blog will be online and updated often". Not only is it not online, we doubt the posting will be anywhere near regular. However, competition is always good, especially if it is fighting for the same cause, and since ETC. fell into ruin, some competition might be good, if only to reassert how idiotic the school can be.
The second 'objective' is to sit on the SLT panel, "so that we know that what we have to say is really being reported back". Whilst the sentiment is admirable, our cynicism about this creeps in. Firstly, with them on the panel, they can simply be fobbed-off face to face. Not that they even have that much to say (see any Real Leaked Minutes).
The third and final 'objective' is a campaign for a "wider range of snack items on sale". Really tackling the core issues of the school here.
When we first saw this we couldn't help remembering "Stop shrinking the jellies!!!1!1!1!!". It does seem a bit of a step down from the other 'objectives', and that's saying something. They go on about how they are going to do a survey and bother caterlink, but who cares?
Of course, to see the original you can simply stroll past the display, and for those who don't attend Hampstead will just have to imagine it.