Silence Will Fall

The Trash has learned that form tutors were contacted last week, being asked to give suggestions as to how to make the library a quieter place, because, of course, people make noise. As such, we tasked Julie LaSange with discovering some of the ideas made for giving silence to the library:

• Ban all pupils from entering the library at all times.
• Actually, nobody is allowed to enter the library, ever.
• In fact, lock the doors.
• Soundproof the walls.
• Hermetically seal the room.
• Then suck out all the air so the room is one big vacuum.
• Fit the librarians with space suits so they can, you know, breath.
• Invent a device that neutralises the effect of gravity, so nothing can ever be dropped on the floor.
• Staple all the books to the shelves so they don’t float away.
• Send email notification that this will be the case from now to eternity.
• Er…
• That’s it.

In the Library no one can hear you scream.

DISCLAIMER: This is obviously a spoof, the real suggestions were far less rational.