Thursday, 4 February 2016

Silence Will Fall

The Trash has learned that form tutors were contacted last week, being asked to give suggestions as to how to make the library a quieter place, because, of course, people make noise. As such, we tasked Julie LaSange with discovering some of the ideas made for giving silence to the library:
  • Ban all pupils from entering the library at all times.
  • Actually, nobody is allowed to enter the library, ever.
  • In fact, lock the doors.
  • Soundproof the walls.
  • Hermetically seal the room.
  • Then suck out all the air so the room is one big vacuum.
  • Fit the librarians with space suits so they can, you know, breath.
  • Invent a device that neutralises the effect of gravity, so nothing can ever be dropped on the floor.
  • Staple all the books to the shelves so they don’t float away.
  • Send email notification that this will be the case from now to eternity.
  • Er…
  • That’s it.
In the Library no one can hear you scream.

DISCLAIMER: This is obviously a spoof, the real suggestions were far less rational.

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