Increasingly larger and more abstract-messaged banners to go up around school. 2/1
Teachers to receive more and more frantic emails from Management about uniform. 1/1
Hastening of shirt-tucking to cause mass friction burns. 3/1
Head admitted to hospital for muscle strain after heaving his face into a Gordon Brown-esque smile for the duration of the inspection. 2/1
Students asked to give evidence to inspectors having no opinions beyond 'yeah' and 'it's nice, I guess'. (no odds required, this is a near certainty)
School to remain a 'good' school despite teaching being largely outstanding. 1/2
View of Hampstead presented to inspectors to be a genuine perception of the school. 1000/1
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DON'T GET OVERLY GASSED.