What To Expect When You're Inspecting

With an Ofsted inspection on the horizon, we thought we'd add an element of fun to an otherwise stressful time. As well as the latest odds on inspection behaviour, here's a bingo for students (or Ofsted inspector) to tick off as they go round school. First person to get a line wins a prize!*

Teachers to suddenly appear nicer and more talkative towards students	SLT spend more time 'talking' to students, rather than storming their lesson and demanding they tuck their shirt in	Daily reminders for planners on desks and uniform in check to maraud form tutors	Increase in the involvement of Student Councillors, Head Boy & Girl and HABZ, or anyone who has their tie done up and is token enough
Further proliferation of copious amounts of Hampstead propaganda materials (see 'Buzz', 'etc.' and all banners)	People smiling	The Head saying 'Good Morning' to random students (and attempting to refer to them by first name)	Lessons to suddenly become exceedingly over-planned
General whiff of weed about the school is replaced (with the smell of industrial bleach)	Dog-eared displays to become updated, seemingly overnight	Glossy images of students to further appear around school	Sirens no longer blasted in students ears.
Toilet cubicles miraculously gain locks	On-site consumption of alcohol (teachers or students) is better hidden	Uptick in fake learning and pointless show lessons	TV screens around school continue to show meaningless crap

*Prizes are subject to availability, of which there is none. If you really want something, you can have the remaining stock of Blazer Hoods.