Pupils 'Should Probably Be Taught About Sexting'

School children should learn about pornography and sexting before they're exposed to it, apparently.

Education Secretary Justine Greening said “if they're gonna do it, they may as well do it properly”, emphasizing the importance of tact and sensitivity when asking for nudes.

Sex education in the UK currently consists of students trying to rip the chastity belt off a life-sized™ wooden doll, much to the amusement of their fellow classmates, until they are reminded by their teacher that they have to get them drunk first.

Some analysts have pointed out that during the free talks and presentations on “Consent and You and Me”, the most attentive members of the audience are usually the really rapey kids, who tend to take pages of notes which are promptly stapled together, dated and stamped before they are stowed in a leather dossier of legal documents.

Some have argued however that the non-biological aspects of reproduction (i.e. the long stints of inactivity between sex) have no place in modern society, and should therefore not be taught,  stating that “the less they know about relationships, the better”.


DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof. We recognize the importance of proper sex education, but we also recognize that it is not provided.