Regime "Perfects" Detention Chamber

The SLT have "perfected" a new detention chamber design, according to a recent press release. 

The "redesigned detention chamber" is said to possess "an elegant menace and strikingly beautiful torturous power, unrivaled and unparalleled, to be feared throughout all lands of this Earth". According to the press release, the detention chamber will feature audio books played at a volume "just loud enough to be irritating, but too quiet to be comprehensible in any way". Every detention chamber will feature four murals dedicated to the "noble Head of this, the finest of learning institutions", and "whichever three of the Head's SLT lapdogs manage to curry his favor at the time of the chamber's construction". When asked about whether it was appropriate for the school to reveal such key details about the inner workings of the school to the outside world, a spokesman for the Head said "the immortal structure of Hampstead's management is immune to external intervention or influence".

DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof.