Item 1: Kevin the Pervy Aye-aye to be reinstated as school mascot.
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 9) said a school mascot would ‘cheer up the school’, especially on Sports Day. Cllr Abdi (Year 12) argued that an Aye-aye was not a good representation of the school, however, a Fag Butt Mascot was already taken by Whitefield.
Minutes spent on Item: 13 hours
Actions: Why not, eh?
Item 2: The walls to be painted with the blood of a thousand Chinese children.
Minutes: It would be cheaper than paint.
Minutes spent on Item: 112 minutes
Actions: The walls already have been.
Item 3: Treacle Dispensers to be Installed around school
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 11) said the dispensers would ‘promote cleanliness’, Cllr Abdi (Year 7) said they sounded fun, however, Cllr Abdi (Year 13) said they could cause a ‘sticky situation’.
Minutes spent on Item: 72 minutes
Actions: Treacle dispensers are a good idea
Item 4: Smartboards to be made out of Gummy Bears
Minutes: Cllr Abdi (Year 8) said that it would make learning ‘tasty’, however, Cllr Abdi (Year 7) argued that Gummy Bears do not conduct electricity.
Minutes spent on Item: 64 minutes
Actions: Why are we even debating this?
DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the faults, flaw and misdoings of the school.