Thursday, 3 October 2013

Leaked Minuted from School Council #7

Item 1: How much of a success has the Girls' Only Area been?
Minutes: Abdi (year 8) said that the Girls' Only had been successful as there were many boys using the area. Abdi (year 7) added that more girls were now scared of boys and sexism than before, which is one of the main criteria of the Area. At this point Mohammed Labaanah King stormed into the meeting in protest of the inherent segregation of the Girls' Only Area, saying: "I've been to the mountain top" and pointing to the top of the pyramid steps. He was then removed and excluded for 'speaking his mind' and 'being too pessimistic'. Abdi (year 9) went on to say that there had been no opposition to the Area.
Minutes spent on Item: (Discounting MLK's sit-in) 132 minutes
Action: Place Girls' Only Area in the list under 'Successes of School Council'

Item 2: How much of a success has the Berlin Wall been?
Minutes: Abdi (year 10) said the Berlin Wall had been very successful as it has promoted segregation amongst students, much like the Girls' Only Area, and has appeased the Management as they no longer have to see students, unless they are firing orders over uniform down from watch towers on the eastern side. At this moment Mohammed Labanaah King tried to stage another protest, and was swiftly removed for 'speaking his mind'.
Minutes spent on Item: (discounting the abhorrent show of freedom of speech from Labanaah King) 243 minutes
Action: Place Berlin Wall in the list under 'Successes of School Council'

Item 3: Should the School Council take credit for the Boyzone?
Minutes: Acknowledging that the Boyzone had been a far better success than the Girls' Only Area, Abdi (Year 10) said that the Boyzone area, erected by Hampstead Trash reporters, had been inspired by the Girls' Only Area set up by the School Council, and therefore, was a product of the School Council.
Minutes spent on Item: 157 minutes
Action: Place 'Boyzone' in the list under 'Successes of School Council'

Item 4: Perhaps the views of the Hampstead Trash should be listened to, as they raise salient points that could aid the school, and have a greater student voice than that of the School Council.
Minutes: The Year 7 (Abdi) who said this was swiftly removed from the meeting and, consequently, School Council, by the Head, for 'speaking too freely'. As Abdi was frogmarched from the meeting, the Head was heard muttering to one Councillor: "Just stick to bins and stuff that no-one cares about."
Minutes spent on Item: 32 seconds
Action: Keep very quiet and never mention the Trash EVER in the Head's presence.

DISCLAIMER: This Hampstead Trash article is a spoof, that uses crude humour to satirise the school and its management.

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